While at CCCF, I’ve made a friend here and we realized we have a lot in common. We both grew up with controlling mothers which we suspect might have had a hand in how we both ended up in relationships with narcissists. I think they call this inter-generational trauma. if you haven’t heard the term narcissist, it’s a person with a personality flaw that usually preys on empaths (people who are very sensitive to other people’s needs).
Narcissist behavior consists of three different stages: love bombing (narcissist tries to win over the empath), abuse (devaluation, can consist of emotional, physical, or both. Includes gaslighting – blaming the empath for everything), and the smear campaign. When the empath tries to leave the narcissist, he then proceeds to turn everyone against the empath whom he most likely has isolated from friends and family during the abuse phase. He seals the deal with lies and slander causing the empath’s friends and family to side with the narcissist.
In my friend’s case, she ended up here in prison because of crimes her boyfriend (narcissist) committed. she was given 7 years and they added another year on. During the course of her incarceration, her daughter committed suicide and later the narcissist as well. She now has a lawsuit with the DHS and we hope the ACLU will get involved.
In my case, the narcissist turned my mother against me. We are currently in the process of repairing our relationship but he also spoke to the DA. I’m not sure, but I suspect this whole situation might be part of a smear campaign from the narcissist. I spoke to him shortly after I was arrested and he told me he spoke to the DA but didn’t tell him anything. I don’t know if I believe that. When I started talking to my lawyers, I could tell they had spoken to the narcissist as well, as everything they asked me about was skewed to his side of the story of our arguments when we were together. I say arguments but they were more like abuse sessions. Being able to talk to my friend and knowing I’m not alone in this world is probably one of my biggest blessings I’ve received and I truly feel love for her. She is also one of the kindest people I know but also the strongest.